I could say "for so many reasons" as the answer to "where have you been and why haven't you blogged?" So I'll just say that conglomerating ones feces (getting your shit together) is harder than it first appears when it enters your head like a bubble when life's details force you to come face to face with what you REALLY want out of it....Yeah...what DO I want said I? ...... I think turning 50 had something to do with it but I'm just not sure.
I would love to post a big smiling photo of myself turning fifty right
{here}
but alas. I don't think I took any photos that day. I was busy moving into my very own apartment, in Kansas City, by my own bad self. Well living alone but not moving alone. My friends helped me (thank you friends..you know who you are) get settled during phase three of my settling. Phases you say? Doesn't one normally do it all at once? Key word is normally. There is really nothing normal about me. Except for perhaps my sleeping habits. But I digress.
Phase one was leaving PA and moving back to the midwest. Phase two was moving in with a friend in Kansas City for four months. Phase three was just mentioned above and happened on my birthday (YAY 50) and phase four was when my ex brought me the rest of my shit and then drove off into the sunset. Phase five might happen as I decide what to throw away, donate, or destroy. Stay tuned. Who knew it would happen in phases? But it sort of suits me.
So for 8 months almost to the day I have been doing a whole lot of regrouping. Looking for a job, doing some temp jobs, getting a job, realizing that job was one of the worst job decisions EVER...(yes I said EVER) and then going back to looking and temping. And selling a bit of artwork along the way....That is the fun part. The art.
About a year ago I had been listening to this "thing" in my head telling me to just do it and I really rather thought it was about writing a book. Do it...Do it.....and Oh I toyed with the whole writing thing...my sister tried to collaborate with me on a couple things but it just didn't gel for me. On a whim I bought some watercolor paints and the best watercolor paper I could afford and decided to let the "art" out of me. BEST DECISION I EVER MADE. I went from painting a little blue cartoon bird to creating canvas's and doing mixed media as well as an ongoing art journal. I even sold a few. Now it's my therapy 150%. It's what I do. It's part of my day. It's in my dreams. It's under my fingernails. It stains my tshirts. Mostly with paint but with lots of other things thrown in. Inks, stamps, papers, glue, glitter, you name it. It's all about texture and color. What comes out comes out.
So while I realize I do have to "live" and "support myself" with some sort of income....I do have my artwork to keep me company and it sure has. I'll try to do my best at keeping you updated.
xo
L
